Oral What?!

Well. I am proud of myself. A little disturbed, but proud nonetheless.

I lay awake this morning trying to figure out how to get out of having my teeth cleaned today. I was afraid of the pain, of the derision. I hadn’t confirmed my appointment–so I had hoped they wouldn’t take me. I was wrong. They took me alright.

I lay there in that chair for less than an hour, really. Surprising, that. Poor dental hygienist, she got more than she bargained for. I wanted to ask her if cleaning really dirty teeth was as satisfying as cleaning a really dirty floor or the like. I never got the nerve, though.

Instead of that cool electric toothbrush, my teeth were so bad that she used a sonic thingy, I guess. Felt like an electric scraper, with water. Or an electric, discomposing, terrorizing, stabbing, needle of doom, with water.

What was so disturbing was that the fear melted away. She was nice, and also impressed that despite the evidence that I took such horrifyingly bad care of my teeth, they are in good condition…considering….so the fear of derision was gone. And then once she started in grinding my teeth and jabbing at my gums, I was able to relax. Relax enough indeed, that she asked me at one point if I was okay…because I had begun to doze off.

What sort of normal human being falls asleep during a painful dental cleaning? I scare myself sometimes….and this is why:

I used the techniques for dealing with pain that I learned in my Birthing from Within childbirth classes. I realized in the classes that I wasn’t going to be able to run away and hide from the pain; I had to learn to take it head on and not fear it and to resist the natural impulse, that my body has in place out of necessity, to stop the thing that hurts. I learned to ride the contractions like waves, to keep my body loose, to pay attention to other things in addition to the pain. Mostly, and most frighteningly, I learned that I needed to stare into that pain, to examine it, to embrace it, to enjoy it.

Enjoy it?!

Enjoy it.

Yup.

So there I lay, head below my feet, starting to worry that she was finished each time she stopped. Immediately I thought of Nathaniel, the oh-so submissive wereleopard from the Anita Blake series. Nathaniel is into pain. So I lay there, giggling internally that I was a closet pain freak. Lord help me!

Then the lesson began about how to care for my resurrected teeth. Blah Blah floss blah blah swish blah blah daily blah two times a blah. Come back in 6-8 weeks and we will work on the teeth some more. AHA! Now there’s a tidbit I listened to. 🙂

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~ by merialiss on August 17, 2004.

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