Hold on Loosely

It’s so puzzling, how I feel like I can take credit for the “good” days but not the “bad” days–I am a victim of the bad days and a procurer of the better ones.

Now, I am not so sure how much of that has a basis in reality, and just for today I don’t really think it matters.

What really matters tonight is that I’d like to hold on loosely to this not bad feeling. I’d like to let it go, and affirm it will return to me.

I’d like to not squeeze the life out of today in order to try and control and manipulate my future. I’d like to surrender and take the good with the bad.

I love this Buddhist idea of non-attachment. Even in high school, I remember fully understanding the idea of the Impermanence of all Things. I wish I’d saved the notebooks on which I’d scrawled in my adorable, stylized teen script, “Nothing Lasts Forever!”  I remember thinking it was both morbid (by the world’s standards) and beautifully freeing (Logically and emotionally).

I just need to remember that Now, and Now, and Now and all the Nows. I need to remember it so that I can move through the next one and the next, and just keep moving.

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~ by merialiss on January 27, 2010.

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